16 February, 2009

Byebye Motivation

You all know I am not letting out many rants on my blog. I like to keep it clean and tidy but today it's just it. Nothing bad happened. Actually nothing happened at all. And that's just it. Nothing ever happens. I'm terribly sick and tired of universities in Germany. No one bothers about the students. If you are Jack-of-all-trades with a lot of hot air leaving your mouth you get it all. The really cool projects on the really cool locations and really cool themes and because you are so stupid, never fought for what you wanted and generally are a horrible pain-in-the-ass they also throw a big bag of financing directly your way. Hello?! I'm here, too! I am working my behind off, I completely turned around my attitude towards university, work, studying and whatnot in the last 3 years. I have good grades, I am interested, I am willing to work a lot, I solve details that others don't even notice exist and am/was highly motivated! And what happens? Nothing! Nada! My own ideas aren't "good enough" for a thesis, the other ideas" aren't ready, yet", and the cool and financed projects are given to the people with big, big mouths and behind-kissers. Usually "ordinary" people like me never even find out they were available in the first place. I accepted all kinds of compromises just to get ahead, to "develop a profile" like every around here is so keen on underlining. Blablabla... I am no where near what I like to do! I am not even near to what I don't want to do! There is just a big black hole in front of me starring at me and laughing. It has been brewing for quite a while. That's it. They want motivated students? Give them something useful to do! Reach out to them! Invite them! Talk to them. Tell them how things work(I don't mean geology)! Do something! Students are suppossed to think of great own topics? Great! But please think about your own financing...blablabla...What?! You want me to spend thousands of Euros that I don't have so you can put your name on it? Stupid German universities. If I ever find my motivation back I'm leaving and I won't be coming back any time soon! Byebye Germany!

I'm not even mad about any particular person or event. I am sick of the freaking system. Today simply tipped the balance...

...I'm sorry for the unfamiliar style. I just had to let it out somewhere. I could go on for hours - I better don't.

1 comment:

Silver Fox said...

Hopefully your motivation will come back. And hopefully something just right will come up. It does happen that there are people who seem to get the things that seem best; I don't know a way around that; professors should be helping, but some are too busy with their own stuff.

Anyway, I know it is partly *just* a rant, but I do hope the frustration will leave. My motivation seems a bit on the down, also, but it is variable. I wish I could help out somehow!